The Hermit Life We Didn't Choose
How many of us would choose the hermit style of life: living in a forest, a cave, a shelter far from everyone else? Traditional hermits are probably few and far between. But our way of life, especially since Covid, has quietly built a hermit-style existence of isolation, independence, and self-reliance for the rest of us. How cool is that? Not very.
The human being is wired for connection, for community. What happens in a good brainstorming session? Ideas flow, pop, and generate new ideas. What happens when you rub two stones together? You get fire.
What Connection Actually Gives Us
Connecting offers belonging. Sharing good times and bad is connecting. Balance in our lives can be achieved through connection, as other options and perspectives are presented to us. Stability can be enjoyed as we relish the confidence given by someone we're close to, something far less likely, if possible at all, in isolation.
Isolation costs us. We become deprived of the benefits of being connected to other people: stuck in one way of doing things, less familiar with our options, unsure what to do in an emergency, unable to deal with loneliness. Without that connection, there might not be a fire to light up our lives at all.
How We Ended Up Alone
Why don't we have community? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we live in separate houses, move from our own bed to a compact car, and drive alone to a cubicle or an office. Maybe we work remotely, alone at the kitchen table. Perhaps we travel for work and live out of a suitcase, which is even more isolating. We're digitally brilliant but have had little opportunity to explore the depth of a one-on-one relationship. It's easy to get pulled into our individual worlds and lose the time to sit down and connect with another person, to explore their world, their life, their energy. Outside pressures urge us to be independent, self-sufficient, to do it on our own. But can we?
A Different Way to Live
What the evidence is telling us is that there are new ways of living that can significantly change our lives: structures for living together and building community naturally, in a way that enhances rather than complicates things. Connecting with others who share our life vision helps build trust, security, and new options as a sense of community forms.
As community forms and we involve ourselves with others more, a blending of worlds occurs. Loneliness dissipates as we participate in new groups tied to the people we've let into our lives, simply through the step of co-buying with others in a community-building endeavor. We begin to share expectations of a new experience together, and find that investing in the wellbeing of others increases our own wellbeing.
What Covid Actually Cost Us
Covid really did a job on us. We tried to adapt to the demands of isolation by becoming more self-sufficient and more independent, but in reality, Covid ripped apart existing social structures and personal relationships. We became adept at texting and less able to confront and connect with a social world that left us without the tools to engage in real interaction. Being unable to connect with others on a personal level brought on an anxiety and loneliness epidemic that persists to this day. Community was put on hold, and life kept looking a lot like a hamster on his wheel, running through the same routine, alone.
Two rocks can create fire, the energy to move in a positive direction. One rock just doesn't do it.
Motivated by a better life that anyone would want to be part of, co-buying is a solution to a real crisis, especially among young adults. It's an intentional step to improve life. If you could save $10,000 a year and come home to vibrant people instead of a cold, empty apartment, which would you choose?